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2600 Woodbridge Ave. 
Edison, NJ  08818

 

 

 

 

BUS 107 - Computer Applications for Business

Links below are to MS Word documents.

Please check for the latest updates.

Required Texts:  

·     Shelly, Discovering Computers 2009, Course Technology – ISBN 978-1-4239-1196-8  The bookstore may have the same book with a different ISBN.  Either is OK.

·      Shaffer, New Perspectives on Microsoft Office 2007, Windows XP Edition -  Course Technology, ISBN 978-1-4239-0577-6  - ISBN 978-0-3246-2001-6 is the MCC bookstore edition.  Either is fine and used is better.

Check Lab Projects to see which assignments to do, what to hand in, and when it is due.  We do not do each and every exercise. 

Extra Credit Assignments

- Only do these after you have completed your lab assignments.

Computer Comics

 

 

 

I wonder why this computer was making a hissing sound?

 

 

 

 

RE: The past year's emails - Thanks

I just send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put, "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise..

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers - but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don't forget this one either!  I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this email to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 p.m this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day... AND a scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their email with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

 

Computer Gender

 

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

 

"House" for instance, is feminine -- "la maison."

 

"Pencil" however, is masculine -- "le crayon."

 

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"  Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

 

Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

 

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

 

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

 

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

 

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

 

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

 

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (le computer"), because:

 

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

 

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

 

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

 

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

  

You decide.

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO'S COMPUTER CONVERSATION 

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. and if you don't remember them, ask your parents…

 For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

 If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:

 COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm  sitting at my computer and I want to type a  proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping?

You have anything I can track my  money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".......